procrAstronaut

until a fantabulous hawaii trip!! We have the tickets, courtesy of free frequent flyer miles. I have a pretty extensive list of stuff to do.

Your mission, should you choose to accept it: (if you've been to the Aloha state before, that is)

tell me what the one thing we absolutely have to do in Hawaii is. We will definitely be in Oahu some of the time, and will visit at least one other island. We are probably going to spend many or most night camping and are mostly looking to see natural-style things like snorkeling, hiking, yadda yadda

Then we'll have lots of full and I'll tell you all about it and make you jealous.

24 hours and change until turducken.

That is all.

you know your nation is full of assholes when...

many states pass laws specifically barring gay marriage in a prodigeous hate-fest of holier-than-thou crap.

-and-

SOUTH AFRICA, in a huge come-from-behind human rights victory passed a motion to legalize gay marriage. Just 16 years after apartheid and we got passed up. Ok, it's obviously different people in charge now than pre-1990, but I am still impressed at their ability to view everyone as equal in the eyes of the law, at least in terms of their right to marry.

Now, it seems to me that gay marriage will be that big thing in 20 or 30 years than noone can believe anyone ever had a problem with. Like, it seems preposterous now that interracial marriage was illegal in many states until fairly recently (60's I think). So I'm sure we'll come around eventually. But until then, it's very frustrating to see everyone trumpetting freedom and denying it to their own citizens.

Also on the list of "I can't believe we ever did that": corn syrup in EVERYTHING. Just wait for 10,000,000 type II diabetics to get a lawyer and a class-action case going. Hooooie. Drink it now. Get diabetes. Then cash in in a few years.

wahoooooooo

maybe the system works? A little bit? I guess it only took 6 years for people to realize that when Repugnicans have all the power in the government, no useful bill gets passed and we end up (some of) the bad guys in an unwinnable war. Whoops. Sorry GOP, you had your chance. Move the fuck over.

Today, I realized that this is the first time since I could vote ('98) that an election went overall how I was hoping. And it was awesome.

Also, SF FUCKING PRIDE on the first female speaker for the house. I like her agenda and the aggressive attitude of getting shit DONE. Now if they actually do it...

In other news, ran my first half marathon this past weekend. Did ok. I want to run another in February, the morning of superbowl sunday. If anyone wants to do it too, let me know! It's wicked fun. There's still lots of time to train.

so I have an ftp server on my home computer, just so I can get files from lab and other places etc. It's handy for writing and stuff. But since it's a server, people who obviously consider themselves to be "hackers" or maybe hakkerzz or some shit see it and, since it exists, try to break in. If I were the government I could understand. Or someone who might have something useful. But it's just a PC with some random files on it. Now, I am not a hacker. But I know a few things about security. Generally, don't have a password that's retarded. The nice thing is, when someone logs in once a second with the user name "administrator" and passwords that come from a list of common passwords, I know they're not getting in so I don't even have to kick and ban them. And for anyone else out there, never use any of these terms as your password for "administrator"
iceman
aaaaaa
aaaaaaa
aaaaaaaa
pearljam
fucker
skeeter
stinky
test123
fuckme
golfing

annnnnd so on. I guess they think they're a hacker because they can run a script for retards.

I have a new member on my committee! Cool. And he's an ear, nose, throat, and neck doctor. WTF? But Austin! I thought you studied touch sensing! Oh, I do. Baby.

Allow me to explain. He's another researcher that Stanford poached from another institution after he had achieved a great deal of success (also in this category, Andy Fire, recent nobel laureate and the guy who taught me worm genetics). He's basically a hair cell guru... not the kind on your head, the kind in your inner ear that hear things. So he is doing force-sensing, and knows a lot about it. Thus the committee member thing.

Also, my work reminds me of that Might Be Giants song. I'm not a real doctor, but I am a real worm. I am an actual worm. Also, I'm interested in things.

In other news, my big sexy paper came back from review with a split vote. Reviewer #1, also known as my new best friend, loved it. Reviewer #2, not so much. So we're explaining and fixing away, and I'm pretty confident it will go through the next time.

just a bunch of kind of random crap today because I'm bored in lab and waiting for something to melt. Lucky you.

First, my legs are sore. This is not surprising since I ran a long ass way today after dancing a lot last night. The dancing was at Bree and Andrew's wedding (congratulations!) and was crazy fun. I don't think the last couple years have made me a better dancer exactly, but I'm definitely much better now at not minding and having fun. And one girl I danced with even said I danced well. Unfortunately she was the second worst dancer on the floor (no, I wasn't the first).

But the real reason my legs feel like they've been run through a wheat thresher is that I ran what I think was the furthest I've ever run this afternoon. I had driven my roomie's truck accross the bay to fremont to carpool up to the wedding, but amanda joined me up there so we came back together this morning - leaving the truck in fremont. Rather than be a sane person and stop for it, I decided to eschew cars and ignore my mild hangover and already sore calves and hoof it over there to pick it up. Problem is, there's 17 miles and one big bridge in between. 16.5 miles later, Jason and Zoe got a pathetic whining call begging him to pick me up. Basically my legs had stopped functioning in the standing and moving sense. They're better now though.

....

ok still melting. Props to Ben for his show, which was great fun. And props to Julia and George for forcing us all to watch 'Waiting', a hilarious movie that was even better in altered state.

I like V8 a lot.

ok time for real work. hasta.

wahhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!

So excited!!!!

So awesome!!!!


and if you don't know why, I can't explain it to you

A's baby!

They just won the first playoff game. They have a history of choking after going ahead in the first round of the playoffs, but like any good fan I am brimming with confidence that they will overcome that. That, alternating with abject terror that they won't. Expect me to be a bit of a mess for at least the next week.

Also, I want to have Frank Thomas' gigantic homerun-hitting babies.

also... when did it become true that you could erase any act by checking in to rehab? All these powerful people do RETARDED things and then check in, like "oh, I'm dealing with it, so it makes it ok." Come on! Rush comes to mind, I hate that guy. And the tard who crashed into congress some time ago. And recently, the dumbwad who sent explicit e-mail to 16 year old page boys. I don't think they rehab for being a pedo. That's called jail.

most.
amazing.
weekeend.
ever.

just got back from my Cousin's wedding. In Maui. They basically rented out the entire resort in Hana (essentially the most beautiful place in the world) and then said if you get there, the whole time is pretty much taken care of. We rolled in Thursday evening after a 2 hour windy drive, and basically were in earthly paradise.

We stepped out of car and were greeted with a glass of guava juice and a real flower lei that smelled fantastic. Just as our bags were whisked away to our rooms, the whole crazy family showed up and it was good old' italian-style family fun with cheek kisses and embraces and whole kit and kaboodle.

Thursday night (when we got there) was the rehearsal dinner, which was as grand an affair of a dinner as I've ever been to. It was outside on the lawn overlooking Hana bay, and ask dusk fell it just got nicer. The temperature was that great warm that's a little too hot and humid to want to do anything, but perfect for lounging around. And a mango martini and several glasses of great wine later, I was pretty much ready to stay forever.

The weekend included a hike through a bamboo forest to a spectacular waterfall, hopping off rocks into pools, snorkeling in the bay with coral and fish, riding bikes to the beach and boogie boarding, getting a great massage, steam rooms and cold plunges, and, oh yeah, an awesome wedding. It was up on a hilltop overlooking the bay, and you could just spot the big island off the east coast. It was half by a family member, and half by a hawaiian reverand who did a great job of blending traditions.

I can't really list every amazing thing that happened - partially because there were too many and partially because of the quantity of excellend wine drunk by me, but it was definitely one of the best weekend trips ever. We all felt like we crammed a weeks worth of adventure in, and never felt rushed.

In other news, congrats to Stanford's own Andy Fire for winning the nobel prize today! I took a class from him! Cool!

Everyone should listen to This American Life.

It's produced by Chicago's NPR station weekly, and is all archived free online. And it's so good. They range from ok up to really profoundly excellent.

here are the 'staff favorite' which is kinda like a best-of
http://www.thislife.org/pages/favorites.html

my personal favorites that are on this page are:
Act V: a version of Hamlet performed by prison inmates: murderers doing a play about murder.

My Pen Pal: a woman who as a little girl ended up pen pals with Noriega. Hilarity ensues.

Babysitting: Really funny stories about disastous babysitting experiences.

Ok just trust me. Listen.

I apologize for all the caps so early in the morning but I FUCKING HATE YOU MENLO FUCKING PARK. WHO DO YOU THINK YOU ARE GIVING ME TICKETS FOR PARKING ON MY OWN GODDAMN STREET, ASSFUCK? IF YOU WERE A PERSON INSTEAD OF A TOWN I WOULD WAIL ON YOUR FAT UGLY PREPPED OUT RICH KID ASS AND SHOVE YOUR FACE IN A TOILET. I WANT MY GODDAM $35 BACK RIGHT FUCKING NOW.

Phew. I feel marginally better now. Fucking asshole menlo park shitty council and their shitty rules.

ok, I'm doing it. I'm actually registering for a half-marathon. That means I'll actually run it. This is the upside of registration fees - it's much harder to bail and not do it.

The distance isn't really all that scary to me - I've run longer distances as training - but a race feels totally different. So I should train up and try not to embarrass myself too horrifically.

The route is awesome - from aquatic park up to and across the golden gate, and all over the pretty part of the city. Should be awesome. Also hilly. And windy. And bridgetacular.

Here's the link / route if anyone wants to join us.
http://www.ushalf.com/default.htm

then, looking forward - marathon next!

pop quiz, fool.

Question 1. The A's are freakin' awesome because:
a) They spanked the red sox 9-0 on my birthday
b) They were so scary, they gave the Sox's best hitter a heart condition.
c) They gave us free pizza at roundtable for sitting in the cheap seats in section 242.

well, as digital underground might say, the answer is d: all of the above.

Except b. That's really not cool, since he actually is in the hospital. I do hope he's ok.

Seriously, though, the game was really fun. Much PBR beforehand, many pistachios during. I think we drove off several families near us since the section kinda emptied around us. Maybe the loud, sexual, swear-filled conversations had something to do with it. Oh well. It is baseball after all.

ah, how the other 0.00001% lives.

my hero of the week is Lisa, who (through her company) hooked us up with seats in a the super-luxury box at the Giants game last night. It was totally rediculously awesome in every way that a regular baseball game isn't. We went in through the normal gate, but as soon as they spotted our huge, oversized luxurious tickets we were directed through a fancy set of doors into the important people door. They were in disbelief we had even begun to mix with the masses.

As soon as you pass through those doors, the whole place feels like a hotel. Carpet, pristine walls, ushers helping you into and out of the elevator. After a quick stop at the wine tasting in the hall for a few glasses and some baked brie, we made it down to the suite. It took us all of 10 minutes to clean out all the provided booze, so I was resigned to purchasing beer from then on. Now, I had a pretty nice beer/wine buzz thing going on so I wasn't at risk to stop having fun or anything. And just sitting in the box makes you feel so superior to the little ants sitting crowded into seats below.

Well, Lisa and her friend took it upon themselves to wrangle up some more booze. A few bottles that disappeared from service carts ended up in our suite, but she really took the cake when she made friends with the guys in the Genentech suite right behind home plate. All but two of them had taken off, and left a cornacopia of food, drink, and awesome behind. And somehow, Lisa and co. got all of us invited over there. So we basically took the place over. Now, when I say this place was stocked I mean it was STOCKED. Chips & guac, empanadas, hot dogs, chicken salad, steak, fruit plate, dessert plate, etc etc etc. Here it was about the 6th inning and fortunes had turned against the Giants, so my focus on the game dwindled and it basically was just a party with baseball in the background. We finally stumbled out after the game to the train for the ride home.

I don't think I'd ever drop the couple of grand per game myself, but that was definitely one of the greatest experiences ever.

money that is. (Sorry Ariel, you probably thought I was talking about something else)

There's something about winning money that's so much more fun than any other way of making it. Getting a check for $100 for working or some crap like that... not exciting. but pulling down the $120 weekend poker game pot... very exciting. Maybe it's that poker is fun, and winning is fun, and money is fun, and there's some sort of amplification when they all come together.

Also, $10 is the perfect buy-in, because if you lose... you just spent $10 for entertainment. It's like going to a movie. But the money makes you take it seriously, and if you win, $100 is a significant amount. It's burning a hole in my pocket.

Now, to force myself to put it in the bank instead of buying something crazy like 1000 bananas.

Also, isn't it silly that bananas are like 10cents each? It just makes you want to buy 1000.

Anyone want a banana? I have way to many, and the monkeys in lab won't leave me alone. Also, can I borrow a few bucks?

Best movie ever. Oh Samuel L. Jackson, thou art wise. That was one of the greater moviegoing experiences of my life. It was all Mak's brainchild: "you know what would be a good idea?" says Mak. "Going to the midnight thursday show of Snakes on a Plane." And now, even at early o'clock sitting in lab, it was a great idea. The movie is so absurd, so over the top in every single way that it can only be truly appreciated at an absurd time and with a theater full of absurd people. It was really a group movie experience - everyone was laughing, applauding, hooting and hollering. They didn't waste much time getting to the good bit - the plot excuse to have snakes on a plane was of course tenuous at best - and then it was non-stop awesome. So if you are going to see it - see it NOW. This one will lose a lot in the second run when it's full of disgruntled people seeing a movie a lone. Netflix might work - if you can round up 20 drunken buddies. But why would you want to wait that long? Go. And be prepared for the best worst movie I've seen in a very long time.

Oh but be warned it's pretty gruesome. By which I mean has muthufuckin snakes on a muthufuckin plane.

I have the solution to all potential plane problems. I'm going to form a new airline which will have the most airtight security possible, and be fun to boot. It will be way better than the short-lived hooters airlines.

BareAir. The only all-nude airline. How better to feel secure that your fellow passengers aren't concealing any weapons than to leave nothing to the imagination? And everybody knows terrorists have tiny penises and would therefor be unwilling to fly naked. AND to top it all off, if the worst happens and the plane is going down, it would be much easier to spend that last few seconds of your life having consequence-free intercourse with a fellow passenger. Or steward/ess. Or pilot/ess. But remember, it only counts as the mile high club if you get the deed done before falling out of the sky.

Anyone care to preorder tickets?

yo. To whomever is reading this and live in the bay area. A bunch of us peeps are going to see the A's shame the Red Sox on my birfday. That's August 28th. We're buying tickets monday probably, so let me know if you want to come. The game's at 7 so we'll try to get there around 6 for beer in the parking lot. Can you say PBR!?!?

Rooting for the redsox is allowed but discouraged.